A strange thing happened recently, I got told I was doing a great job taking care of grandma. Now, an outsider might not view this as strange but we know as caregivers it’s extremely rare that we get thanked or praised. There’s a line during the Eucaristic prayer in the Episcopal Church service where the Celebrant says “Let us give thanks to the Lord our God.” To which the People reply “It is right to give him thanks and praise.” First of all, why is it so hard to give thanks and praise to caregivers? Yes, it’s our job, as family members or friends or even human beings, to care for those who can no longer care for themselves. Yes, we did sign up for this gig, sometimes, reluctantly. Now granted there are some like my aunt who is grandma’s primary caregiver who is not comfortable receiving thanks or praise and always gives credit to God. In some cultures it’s even considered bad manners to compliment someone. However, for many of us praise or thanks goes a long way to making us feel better about the work we are doing. I know that I’m doing a good job with grandma, she’s happy she’s pretty healthy for a woman turning 98 this year, up until a few years ago she was still driving herself around the small town in which she grew up and in which she raised her kids as a single mom. I know I'm doing a good job, and there are days when I know I could’ve done better. How many people can relate to that feeling? The feeling of I could’ve done a better job; I should’ve handled that better; I shouldn’t have lost my temper? We tend to focus on what we could’ve, should’ve, would’ve done to be better caregivers rather than praising ourselves for what we did well. Often giving ourselves praise is seen in society as being egotistical or bad. Pardon me for being blunt but too bad society if you can’t handle my having a strong sense of my own self worth. If I don’t praise myself, or feel good about myself how can I expect others to? If I don’t stand up for myself and say no how can I expect to be able to stand up for others?
Now, I have a confession, when people who don’t normally give praise or who praise in a backhanded manner like “I don’t normally like this meal but I like it when you cook it.” When those people are giving me genuine praise, it makes me a bit cynical and makes me start wondering “What did they mean by that?” Finally I had to tell that little dissenting voice I call my inner saboteur “Thank you for coming, I surround you in light and release you.” In non-spiritual terms I tell that inner voice to hit the road.
If you follow any teachings by Abraham-Hicks or Wayne Dyer or any other Law of Attraction gurus you will know that your inner being, the God within us, doesn’t see us or situations negatively; it only sees love and joy and gives us nothing but thanks and praise. So why not listen to that voice instead? The voice within you that says you’re doing a good job. There’s a saying in Alanon “I will take one compliment and hold it in my heart for more than just a fleeting moment. I will let it nurture me.” So today, I’m going to take those compliments and let
